Afterbirth was an independent Heavy Metal / Hardcore Punk crossover band from Tawas City, Michigan. They were first formed as Anarchy, probably the most generic name for a Punk band you can think of. The members of this band decided to wear 100% Heavy Metal costumes (though their music barely counts as Metal, I'm afraid) and give themselves over the top, ridiculous nicknames such as "Celestial" and "Kaos" [sic]. They recorded their first demo tape, "The Way Out", in 1987. At some point two of the members quit / were fired, leaving Kaos to be the only original member of the band. After Kaos found replacements for the two former band members, they changed their name to Afterbirth and recorded their second demo tape, "Better Than Jello" in 1988. Apparently claiming they were better than a dessert was the best title they could think of. Later that year, they recorded their first and only offical release, "Who's in There?", an EP. This release contains some of the most dumb, juvenile, yet hilarious music ever recorded to tape. But really, did you expect intelligence from a band named Afterbirth? Anyway, this record deserves a few paragraphs of its own.
The album cover features a black and white photo of the band in their 100% Metal costumes standing near a door they are about to answer, "threateningly" glaring at the listener. I think you can easily figure out why the EP is called "Who's in There?" by now. Considering that this was probably recorded on a low budget, this cover is acceptable.
The actual music in the album is standard Hardcore Punk with very little Metal influence. Besides the simplicity of the material, the band members make some mistakes, so either the recording was rushed, or the material was unrehearsed. However, the lyrics are where the album really shines. They are random, bizarre and quite silly. Unfortunately, these lyrics are hard to comprehend due to the lo-fi recording quality.
The record begins with the song "Sixteen", which is a rebellious teen hate anthem with a decent guitar solo in the middle. "All I Want is Two" is about a food which is never mentioned in the lyrics. I'm guessing it was Jell-O.... "Blood Rush" is a short, energetic song about well, a blood rush.
"Mr. Louis" is the highlight and the most popular song of this EP. In this song the band seems more focused and more angry. The nonsensical lyrics have also been amped up to eleven, as the song contains lots of mindless swearing. The song attacks Mr. Louis, who was probably a teacher in the Tawas City High School, as the lyrics frequently mention school. The only real reason they vulgarly ridicule Mr. Louis is because he has a girlfriend named Beth whom the band think is "fat and ugly". Even that reason is somewhat nonsensical because they seem to hate Beth just because she looks dumb. The rest of the song consists of lyrics about how Mr. Louis is stupid and various acts of revenge the band do such as "spitting a goober in Mr. Louis' Coke." No, I did not just make that up. The guitar solo features an unexpected, uproarious punk quotation of "Mary Had a Little Lamb". There's also a nice, brief drum break at the end of the final verse before the band go into the chorus one last time.
The rest of the EP is filled with mediocre minute long tracks. "You're the Cheese" is an agressive song insulting the listener, calling him or her "the cheese." Really, what is it with this band's obsession with snacks? Saying the listener is "the cheese" might as well be a compliment. "The Cool Tavern" is an out of tune song about a fictional "cool tavern" where the band "picks up chicks" and it's "where they hang out." I must wonder what the social lives of the band members were like by now. The EP closes with "Who's in There?", a short skit involving someone being interrupted while urinating. The interrupting person is probably supposed to be a strong, muscular type. He yells, "WHO'S IN THERE?" and the urinating person screams. The person yelling "WHO'S IN THERE?" sounds like a talking cat due to the fact that before "WHO'S IN THERE?" is yelled, the character mumbles something that sounds like "Meow, meow, meow." How the cat found its way into the restroom is up to the listener.
This EP was recorded at Bub-n-Lar Studios. Looking it up on the Internet produced no results. The record was apparently popular at Wyatt Earp Records, which sat displayed right in front of the 7" vinyl section. Suprisingly, this store is still open. After "Who's in There?" came out, Afterbirth changed their name back to Anarchy and recorded two more demos in 1989 or 1990 before calling it quits.
In conclusion, this would make an abysmal Metal EP but it's really not metal. It's more of a Hardcore Punk EP. So in the end, Afterbirth were really a mediocre garage band with an outrageous image but oddly playful songs.
Listen to the EP:
